I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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