First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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