i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
