Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
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So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
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I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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