I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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