I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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