What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
