Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize