i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
