Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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