I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
