So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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