just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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