I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
