Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
