All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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