I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
