I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
