Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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