You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
