What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
