Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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