I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
