You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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