dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
