Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
