I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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