I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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