Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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