I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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