i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
