Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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