I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
