Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
