What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
