oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
