this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
