I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
