plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
