good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Be still, my beating vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
