It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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