I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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