My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
