If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
