I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
