I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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