So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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