I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
