Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
