I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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