So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize