The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
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they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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