That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
