The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
