He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
