party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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