it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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