if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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