She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
