He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
