Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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