Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
