so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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