It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
