absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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